|
|
 |
| 门 派： |
| 论坛等级：黄金长老 |
| 财富等级：(富足长乐) |
| 财
宝 箱： |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
爱情是个冷笑话中的经典语录
|
作者：丁的新家 2008-7-1 15:53:57
<div> <font size=2>闺蜜：</font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">25</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁之前填补没有男人的<span class=GramE>空窗期</span>，</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">25</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁之后男人填补她们不在时的<span class=GramE>空窗期</span>。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 前男友（旧情人）：只有当你在最凄惨的境界下才会想起他的好，大部分情况你都会觉得他是头<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">猪</span></font>。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 前男友的现女友（旧情人的新欢）：虽然她只是赢得了一头猪，但是你还是觉得不爽。不管她多么完美，在你眼里，她永远比你差那么一点点。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 姐弟恋：正餐之余，吃点甜点也不错。但是很多女人过了</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">25</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁之后，很容易把甜点当成正餐。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 同居：同居唯一的好处是，被抛弃时你还是个未婚女人。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 爱情：这个词可以出现在任何情况下，但是事实上，任何情况下所发生的事情跟这个词语关系都不大。</span><font face=Simsun><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"> </span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> </span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 商场：过了</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">25</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁之后，所有女人都该知道：</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">1</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">、<span class=GramE>闺蜜比男人</span>更重要。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">2</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">、金钱比<span class=GramE>闺蜜更重要</span>。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">3</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">、到了商场之后，以上的说法都不再存在。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 处男：一种奇迹般降临在你面前，然后经常又是原封不动地奇迹般消失的东西。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 一夜情</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">:</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">我们都假装一夜<span class=GramE>情永远</span>不会降临在自己头上。当一夜情真的降临的时候，我们就假装还会有第二夜。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 卡拉</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">OK:</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">你喜欢的人在这里出现的机会，大大低于你讨厌的人在这里出现的机会。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 酒会</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">:</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">如果它不是叫这么一个虚荣的名字，谁还愿意穿着奇怪的裙子站在那里小心翼翼地吃一块三<span class=GramE>文鱼啊</span>！</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 家庭</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">:</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">当你开始向往它的时候，它已经开始排斥你了。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 已婚男人</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">:</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">当你未婚的时候，他总是说自己婚姻不幸福。当你想给他幸福时，他就会告诉你，其实他一直很幸福。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 已婚女人：当你未婚时，她总是跟你说婚姻很幸福。当你结婚之后，她就找到了人一起抱怨婚姻不幸福。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 婚礼：是一个别人看起来很喜庆，自己看起来很伤感的词。有时候，相反。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 婚外恋：总是打着“爱情”的旗号，行“坑蒙拐骗”之实。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 第三者：这年头当第三者的，不是过度聪明，就是过度白痴。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 买单：检验一切男人的第一条标准。凡是不通过的，则不再有第二条标准。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 护肤品：用了觉得<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">白用</span></font>，不用又觉得<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">心慌</span></font>。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 求婚：开始你以为这意味着升值，后来你才知道其实是套牢。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 一见钟情：总是在不停的发生，然后不停的被证明只是个错误。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 加班：刚开始觉得是酷刑，后来觉得正常，再后来索性当作享受。这是现代人的<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">强项</span></font>之一。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><font size=4><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"> 初恋：</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">18</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁用来暗恋。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">24</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁用来怀念。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">34</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁用来纪念。</span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun">44</span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">岁……用来<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">自恋</span></font>。</span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 异国恋：一个物种向另外一个物种表达好奇心的方法。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 有产女人：先有房子，再有车子，再有男人，再生孩子。或者全部倒过来。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 捉奸在床：女人最悲喜交集的时刻：喜的是<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">终于</span></font>抓住了，悲的是<font color=fuchsia><span style="COLOR: fuchsia">真的</span></font>抓住了！</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 离婚：结束一个错误，是为了开始另一个错误</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 婚前财产公证：以前是男人想公证不好意思，现在是女人想公证又怕露底。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> <span class=GramE>劈腿</span>：没有办法“两害相权取其轻”的情况下不得不使用的一种策略</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 钻石王老五：就是那种我们寻找了几十年，然后发现其实不存在的东西。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> 桃花运：看看是挺美丽，真的摘下来就一身毛。</font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> </font></span><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"><br></span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt"><font size=4> <span class=GramE>空窗期</span>：如果都懂得用这段时间去享受人生，世界上最起码少了一半<span class=GramE>的怨妇和</span>第三者。</font></span><font size=4><font face=Tahoma><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <br></span></font><font face=Arial><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> </span></font><font face=Simsun><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Simsun"> </span></font><span style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt">在新时代的单身女郎辞典里，<span class=GramE>恨嫁不是恨</span>自己怎么<span class=GramE>还没嫁出去</span>，而是很自己怎么还没嫁给一个又有钱又英俊又专一还喜欢文学热爱音乐的男人……所以，<span class=GramE>恨嫁的</span>近义词是：活该。</span><font face=Tahoma><span lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"></span></font></font></div>
|
|
|
|
| 本文评论0条 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
